I recently wrote a blog “The juggle (and real life struggle) of a working triathlete mum.” I read over it a number of times before I actually posted it as one of my worries was making sure it didn’t sound like I was ‘boasting’, or that ‘I had it all together’, and had this working, training mum thing down pat. Because that’s not how I wanted it to sound and it’s definitely not the message I was trying to get across.
Being a triathlete and a working mum myself, I did have other mothers asking me how I fit everything in though, how I managed to have the motivation to get up and train, to head out the door on less than optimal sleep. And even WHY?! Some people seemed in awe, others maybe looked on questioning… But I wanted to share the journey to show that yeah – it is tough, and it does require a lot of juggling, but if you want it to work, you CAN make it work. BUT that’s not to say that I have it all together. Or that I do everything. Far from it.
And an article I read this week reiterated what I was trying to get across. It was about a women who shared her ‘I don’t list’. And it really resonated with me.
“Are you watching your alcohol intake, your carb intake, your sugar intake? Are you intermittent fasting? Are you totally Keto? Are you cooking from scratch every evening with only organic, paleo, dairy-free, meat-free, grain-free produce ethically-sourced from a plastic-free farmers’ market?
Are you monitoring your kids’ screen time, while staying off your phone, while miraculously staying abreast of local and international issues so you can lead your well-tended friendship group in intelligent discussions….?
I didn’t think so. I told you, you’re not doing enough.“…..
“…..I can see that what women really need to hear is not how other women “do it all”, so that we can mimic their to-do lists and add more and more to our cracking plates. No. We need to hear what other women aren’t doing. Because we all have an ‘I Don’t’ List. And every one will be different.…”Read the full article here…
SO – I thought, along with my recent article of what I WAS doing to juggle training, working and family life, I’d now also share what I’m not doing – MY I don’t list…
- I don’t always call or texts friends back (sorry!)
- I don’t do mobility and activation prior to all my sessions. Even though I encourage all my athletes to.
- I don’t give my daughter the recommended amount of tummy time every day.
- I don’t work enough ‘on’ my business as much as I do ‘in’ my business.
- I don’t meditate, even though I know the health benefits
- I don’t brush my hair every day. Realistically only twice a week! 🤭
- I don’t know the names of every child care worker at my sons day care. Even though these women give their love and attention to my son every week.
- I don’t always get through my days to do list, or stick to my planned schedule.
- I don’t put my phone down before bed. I know the science… but I still don’t.
- I don’t remember all my friends birthdays – even when facebook reminds me!
- I don’t always put my baby down when she’s tired. Or wake her when she ‘should’ be awake. I keep her out longer than recommended. And let her cry when I’m too busy to deal. (go ahead & judge!) 😉
- I don’t keep a budget, or know where all our money is being spent.
- I don’t market myself or my business like I know I ‘should’ or ‘could’.
- I don’t follow a training program.
- I don’t always eat organic, or sugar free, or dairy free….
- I don’t read as much as I would like.
- I don’t have a five year plan. I never have. It’s just not me.
- I don’t empty the bins, I jam those dam things until they are overflowing! (ask my hubby!)
Despite all these things that I don’t do – do you know what? I am ok with it. Sure I could try and ‘do’ more, ‘be’ more – but at what expense? I am ok with not having everything all together all the time. With not doing everything. With not putting that pressure on myself. And I don’t feel guilty one bit. Nor should you. Despite all the things I don’t do, what I do do is understand that stuff happens. Life happens. And there is more to every day than all those little things put together.
Sometimes all I do is enough in the day just to keep the household ticking over. Sometimes it’s about picking your battles. Of choosing what makes you feel like you are winning in that day or in that moment, and letting go of everything else.
Sure. I could be working more, I could be spending time and money on marketing to grow my business, I could be stuck to a schedule and not deviate from it, I could put the phone down and get an extra 30min of sleep, I could be saving more…
But at the moment, that means I would be working more when I want to share more precious moments with my children, I would spending time on tasks that don’t add value in that moment, I would be so stuck in my routine that I couldn’t say ‘yes’ to a new adventure…..
So know, that everyone has an ‘I don’t list’. They may not share it, but know that no one is perfect. And that’s ok. Because today – and tomorrow. I don’t.
What’s on your ‘I Don’t’ list?
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Sarah is the Director & Head Coach at Complete Per4mance Coaching. Sarah qualified for the Ironman World Champs in her first Ironman attempt at Ironman Melbourne 2013 (also achieving a podium place in the same race), going on to compete in Kona that same year. Sarah shares her 10 years of coaching and racing experience, knowledge and education with athletes of all levels to help them achieve their optimal performance while maintaining a balanced, happy and healthy life.