I love racing. I do. I love the feeling of pushing my body to it’s limits, against every other athlete out there on the day and seeing where that lands me.
For as long as I can remember, I have always been competitive. No matter the sport. I don’t generally half @arse things. I go all in, otherwise I’m out. Growing up I played team sports, netball and basketball both at a high level, and I had a dabble at soccer too. I love the competitiveness, and I love winning.
Then came along triathlon in my 20’s and I went all in there. Wanting to learn the craft, finding out how hard I could push my body and what result that would bring on race day. I would thrive off racing, and I didn’t want to settle. I was by and large ‘all in’. Racing results were my main motivation for training. And I’ve done that for 15 years, with some great success, but not with a LOT of hard work. I trained to race and I thrived off that.
BUT over the past 12 months or so, racing hasn’t been my main motivator for training anymore.
I still train every day. Sometimes 2 or 3 times a day. I still put myself through sessions that I give to my athletes so I know what they feel like / should feel like. I still like pushing myself and setting myself goals and challenges. I love the feeling of feeling fit, and healthy.
But I don’t actually have the drive to want to race to win anymore. I know I could. Because I’m stubborn like that. And I know if I wanted to, I could. But I don’t. I’ve still dabbled in running and cycling and triathlon races, but not with as much focus or as much gusto. Old me would not have raced, if I wasn’t fit and strong enough to give it my best, I wouldn’t have put myself on the start line.
And it has been hard to reconcile in my head at times. My last ‘competitive’ race was Port Macquarie Half Ironman in 2022. I finished 4th in my age group, as a full time coach, and full time mum to a 3 & 4 year old. Before that, it was 2 years prior at Geelong Half Ironman where I qualified for the Half Ironman World Champs. (Ironically being held this year in New Zealand) with a 1 & 2 year old. That was tough, but oh so satisfying!
Back then all I wanted to do was win. And I was fully engrossed in it. My whole identity was wrapped up in it. I prioritised training and racing to win over just about everything else in my life. I just wanted to WIN. Until I didn’t want to anymore…..
I saw a post a couple of years ago by another coach and it said something along the lines of a coach must be able to walk the walk, and not just talk the talk. And it didn’t sit well with me. But at the same time I was like, shit I better keep racing to be able to ‘prove’ that I can and prove that I can coach – BUT then it dawned on me. The two are mutually exclusive, they don’t have to go hand in hand. Sometimes they do – which I’ve done for years. But they certainly don’t have to and we all know LOTS of successful coaches that don’t race at a high level anymore – or at all. So, with that, over the last couple of years as things have shifted, my mindset shifted and so did my priorities.
I am always saying to athletes that intrinsic motivation should be first and foremost. Of course use extrinsic motivation to aid you, to continue to drive you to be better, but your main motivator should come from within. Yet here I was, using a post I came across on facebook and the perception I thought others must have of me to continue to drive me. But like most people who rely on extrinsic motivation, that can often only last for so long….
When I had our first born (nearly 7 years ago) I wanted / needed to get back racing. I didn’t want to loose that identity as an ‘athlete’. That’s what I had known myself as for so much of my life. The satisfaction I got from it was huge and all my energy and focus was on those goals.
But in come children, two at that in quick succession and things slowly shifted. My want and need to have a singular goal and focus for myself has become lesser as our children have grown. And my growth and personal satisfaction has come more from the athletes that I coach, the group we have built, of the Club that I support, the community that we now live in and of course – my family.
I don’t need to race at the top level anymore if I don’t want to – to simply ‘walk the walk’.
I don’t need to race for external satisfaction.
I know I can now race if and when I want to.
I can race because I CAN, because I know HOW and because I LOVE to. Not because I feel I have to.
I have learnt that it is the training itself and the discipline it brings that I actually love the most, not necessarily the racing. The racing is a by product – a bonus if you will…. Perhaps, deep down that’s what has always driven me, I just didn’t realise it …. I don’t have to force myself to train or exercise, I do it because I love it.
Which is why I stay fit. Which is why I train every day. So I can, if I want, when I want, where I want. A quick little prep will have me ready and I’ll enjoy returning to those feelings. But I most likely won’t go ‘all in’ like I used to, not because I can’t, but because I choose not to.
Now that all may change again at some point. What feels right now, may not be the same in another few years. We all go through seasons in life and I love embracing all of them.
And that’s what I also love about coaching each individual athlete I have. I have some athletes in the early stages of their athletic journeys, going all in, and I fully embrace that, support that and help foster the environment and training that they need. I have other athletes who prefer a softer balance to their training, competing when they can, and training as it fits into their life. I have others who don’t compete – at all. They simply love the structure and discipline of training in their lives, and staying fit. Just as I do. And I have the pro and inspiring pros. The high achievers. Those chasing PB’s, wanting the most out of themselves, and I love being on the sidelines for all of that. I love being part of each of their journeys.
So no matter the athletes path, or where they are at in their journey. I love all of it, because it is THEIR journey. Just as I am on my own journey. And as a Coach, I love that I’ve been through all facets of it. I’ve been the beginner, the green and keen athlete, the top age grouper, I’ve dabbled as a pro, a mum juggling it all, and the one still here for the long haul.
And I am grateful to be part of that and still join in on the ride!
An athlete with 30 years experience in the sport still chasing the high of racing, the love of training, the challenge of balancing family, work and training and the ultimate love of feeling strong, fit and healthy. Starting her Triathlon days in the 1990’s Nicole has seen the sport change, and take shape over the years to where we are today and we can’t wait to continue the triathlon journey with her….
Name: Nicole Wilson
Nickname: Nic. Nice and simple!
Age / Age Group: Old Hen! ;-p
Lives: Malvern, Vic
Targeted Sport: Triathlon
Years in the Sport: 30 years (on and off) (told you I was an old hen…)
How did you get started: Monash University Tri Club. Like minded people who even made a Saturday night swim squad session fun! (I do not know ANYONE who swims on a sat night – so there’s a first!)
Why I choose CPC: I was introduced by another CPC athlete Caroline Houston. 🙂 (would of mouth is fab – thanks Caroline!) 😉
What I ‘get’ from my sport: I love the challenge and diversity of 70.3 Triathlon racing. With more self-sufficient teenagers at home it’s been great to invest in consistent training and hopefully greater life longevity. I aspire to keep racing and training for a long as my aging body can keep up.
Ultimate Goal: Swimming, riding and running for as long as my body will allow – at at least until l get my pensioner card.
What I couldn’t live without: A family who are very understanding & flexible.
Biggest love: My boys (husband, 3 teenagers and dog)
Pet peeve!: Wasting time. (ohhhh that’s a goodie! We’re with you on this one!)
Interesting fact about me: Country girl who grew up in Cobram.
“You only get to do your first Ironman once. So take your time down that finishing chute! Soak it all in. Look around. Find your loved ones. Embrace them. And draw in all that energy! That is the feeling you have been chasing all day. That is what you have trained so hard for. So don’t rush it. Remember it, savour it and enjoy it !”
Advice I gave first time Ironman Athlete Janelle Wolski ahead of her first Ironman at Ironman Australia last weekend…. And she heeded that advice with full gusto ! Her finish line video and pics are incredible and a memory she will savour forever !
When the dust settled after her race, she shared her experience with me, and by sharing with others, may just inspire someone else to take on a challenge that scares you, to step outside your comfort zone, to be brave, and to trust in the process…..
JANELLE:
Prior to the race: I was nervous off and on , all week prior. Why was I so nervous ? I asked myself…. I think I was scared I wouldn’t have the mental toughness if there was a situation in the race where I got overwhelmed at what was ahead of me and I might just give up …….which isn’t like me but these thoughts kept creeping in . There is also the ‘mum guilt’ that pops up … if I fail at this , what a selfish waste of time all the training has been and the expense, the race, accommodation etc etc.. I know this is irrational for many reasons. The training plan fitted in with our lifestyle ( legend coach!), sometimes I dropped the ball with things on the home front and at times I was distracted, but the kids knew what I was aiming for and well, that’s life sometimes. We can’t always have all our ducks in a row, and I know that that’s aok.
I suppose when nerves set in and thoughts of uncertainty about race day follow, the self sabotage sets in !!! What a ride it’s been and I hadn’t even started the race . I know tapering can make you cranky or feel off but I wasn’t expecting the nerves …………..I guess it also showed how much I really cared about achieving this goal …………
Race day ………3 hours sleep tops, but I had a fantastic sleep the night before and a nap during Saturday and others have probably functioned during an ironman on less sleep. I just kept thinking that no matter what , by this time tomorrow the day would have been played out and just relax girl …… I started to feel better on the walk to transition and Bryan (hubby) was a calming voice, ‘this is normal don’t worry, everyone is feeling the same‘. Thankfully it helped and I started to feel better …….. Transition done , I found some Maitland Tri Club girls that raced their first IM last year and before I knew it we were walking to the swim start ( thanks to Ange, the constant reminder that it is just a long training day) … as coach would say “hurry slowly.”
The swim was amazing , I forgot to hit go on my watch, oh well, I turned it on at the weir. I liked the stop start of going over the weir, a chance to reset and site from above. The next time going back over the weir I got to put my swim cap on that came off , this has never happened before but no dramas , I didn’t rush the swim and at no time felt tired , I felt I was pacing right and because I stuffed up my watch I had no idea of my time when I got out of the water, I was in disbelief later to find out I did 1.13 … goal was 1 hour 20 mins and I expected to go over that …… I was wrapped!
Transition 10 minutes … I’m glad I didn’t go over 10 minutes , I’m totally fine with my transition time and the decision to wear bike knicks as I was comfortable the whole ride , I have no plans to do another ironman in the near future , but if I do, I would like to get use to long rides in a tri suit so as to not have to fluff about with the clothing changes. :-p
Off on the bike and realised I left my electrolyte / hydration tablets in my bike bag. Thankfully (again thanks Coach!) I had backup at personnel needs station. Crisis averted..
The ride going out was flat , I was doing 30 km p/h plus .. with hardly any pressure on pedals, was I going to hard? I didn’t think so , so I kept on at that pace , the bike course was easier than the old course, everyone I have spoken too has disagreed though.. There were rolling hills but no steep spikes of hills like the first 15km of the old course ( which I knew was ahead of me ). At the 30 km mark I had that preempted thought of “shit what have I got myself into“ but it was brief, I didn’t let it fester and though and reminded myself that I’d done the work. Nutrition – I consumed my 3 hour plan of infinite nutrition in 2 hours and my hydration was gone in 1 hour …. I hadn’t factored in being so thirsty and hungry after the swim. The 44 km mark came, personal needs stop done, too easy, back we go .
Technically, there were steep long downhills that didn’t feel too steep when going up them . Going down the hills I didn’t pedal much , I got good speed , tucked in and let my legs rest while I held on tight. The tail wind going out was nice but the roads were bumpy and there were bottles strewn all over the place, many with flat tyres. It is proper country roads, so not many spectators. I liked the course ….. but …… it’s not appealing to do it again, I would prefer doing the old IM course because of the scenery, the out and back and the spectators.
Coming back into town and going out for 40 km I knew would be hard however the hills weren’t as bad as I remember when I did 70.3 a few years ago. I think my bike fitness made a huge difference. I had to keep concentrating at this time, the wind was brutal . More times than I can count I got knocked around by cross winds. Going downhill was particularly nerve wracking. A lapse in concentration and it could have ended my day but I was not breaking in the downhills unless absolutely necessary because it was free speed!
Many times throughout the bike my mind would wander to “how on earth am I going to run after this bike“? Focus was key, I was chatting about my angst with the run leg to a kids sports psych at the boys soccer once and she said “when you are swimming, think about swimming !” “Don’t think about running when you are still swimming”, lol simple and affective, be in the moment.
I was now on the home stretch back in town, firstly ….…..block out all the people already on the run course and already finished, run my own race, it has gone perfectly so far. I nailed the nutrition , I kept it going throughout the ride and it was a good distraction making a few little adjustments that I thought I needed. The wind was blowing straight up the Main Street of Port it felt like I was going nowhere it was sooooo strong. I did not want to lose control of my bike going down the Main Street of Port 😬 How embarrassing would that be!
Coming into transition and all of a sudden the bike was done! I gave myself a pat on the back – I was happy. I knew I had trained well and executed my race plan well when I was passing people in the last 30 km of the bike who are cooked.
Transition . There is a definite mental lift changing into run gear it felt good. Home stretch ! I have never thought finishing this Ironman was a given. There are so many variables that can be out of your control …mechanical or gut issues, sickness, random niggles that pop up… But so far so good !
Starting the run I wasn’t yet convinced I would finish but it was definitely looking very likely. I started running to see how I felt. I have learnt after doing long hours of training that often I will feel worse at the start before feeling better. This was in my mind to not panic if I set off and then felt crap ….. but that didn’t happen. I felt ok, no nausea , no low blood pressure feeling. Nutrition nailed. It was cold by now – and it suited me … not for others who ran in hoodies and gloves! I said to myself if I walk I will get colder and when the wind was behind me I’m not to walk. Some negative thoughts popped up in my mind when I saw someone else I knew out there racing and next thing I know………I am walking WTF !!!
I thought to myself, “I’m feeling pretty good stop with the unhelpful thoughts !!!” There was an aid station not far from me. I walked to it, regrouped and decided to run … mostly … with blinkers on and sticking to the plan. Get to 21 km, aid station and big hill walk only. Off I went and stuck to it pretty closely, I was happy ! The 3rd lap I thought, keep the plan going with 20% room for error 🙂 This lap was going to be the hardest, seeing others finishing, that point in the race when you aren’t on your last lap yet and it still feels a long way away…. So I had to block it out and my goal was to pass the last finish line for the last time for the last 5 or so kms , then I allowed myself to imagine finishing and think about the day and start to believe it would happen but not only that, it happened really well! I had NO idea at this stage what my time was, the last 2 laps I was feeling the pain. By the 4th lap I gave into the lure of more walks but was so proud of sticking to my plan as long as possible. I stuck to my nutrition which helped immensely I have no doubt !
A Tri friend met me with 200 metres to go and ran with me to near start of the carpet and said some really awesome things and said your time is fantastic and told me, I couldn’t believe my time, it was really such an amazing feeling! And the lights, the people the noise – simply incredible! I found hubby Bryan and son Liam and some other friends were there also, big hugs had all round! I always thought my legs would stop working at the finish line and I would be almost collapsing but I felt like I was running on a springboard. I was soooo proud of my time, but most of all I was so proud of myself, of my achievement. An absolute bonus, I finished well under 15 hours 14.22 !
What an amazing day, so very lucky to have the opportunity, grateful to have made the start line fit and healthy. There had been a few circumstances that had me very close to pulling the pin on the training and my goal, but I kept training through and adjusted training when needed – thanks to coach – it made all the difference!
…. Mmmm and right now I just had a thought …… imagine if I didn’t have a 20 minute transition time or picked up the pace in the swim? I could have got under 14 hours ? ………. and there it is …… so this is how it happens that somehow you end up registering for another Ironman 😂😂😂😂😂
Thank you SO much for sharing your experience Janelle. Such an incredible effort ! What a super star mum !
Wow. It is hard to look back and believe how much my life, work and training has changed in the past 2.5years. Rewind to December 2016 (yes that seems AGES ago!) and I was standing on the podium of a Half Ironman. Then, just a few short months later I learnt I was expecting my first child. For someone who has always been very personally driven, fiercely independent, loved the flexibility to train as long as I liked, work as much as needed and sleep in whenever I chose to, I knew this was going to be a big adjustment. And adjustment it was! You can read about how I first managed this here.
Press the fast forward button and all of a sudden I have 2 children under two, I am now married (yes we managed to do this between #1 and #2), am also running my own coaching business, AND back into training myself. Phew, even I feel exhausted just writing that!
‘Ohhh 2 children under 2 – you will have your hands full!’ so many people would say to me when they found out about #2. And yep, they were right. But for me, it feels like just the right amount of full – you get very handy at wrangling a toddler in one arm, while carrying a newborn in the other. 😉
BUT – what does ‘life’ REALLY look like? It’s easy to share a glimpse of it on social media – the cute pics and vids of kids doing gorgeous and hilarious things, the snapshots that we choose to share, but as we all know, social media only shows a very small portion of what our day to day lives REALLY look like. Not the nitty gritty, the juggling act, the broken sleep, the tag teaming, or the days of exhaustion but at the same time the sense of accomplishment. You soon learn where your best windows are for working, training, resting and sleeping, and get good at having patience in getting out the door, in taking each day as it comes, and knowing that your well laid out plans may just go out the window. But that you wouldn’t change it for the world. 🙂
So this is what I wanted to share – more than just the snapshots and cute pictures,. Not to say ‘go me’, but more to say – go mums! I didn’t know many young triathlete mums before I was one myself, apart from a select few, it was like mums took a good 3-5years away from triathlon as they raised a young family, and it wasn’t until say kindergarten or school age that they thought about returning to the sport.
So now being a triathlete and a working mum myself, I have other mothers asking me how I fit everything in, how I manage to have the motivation to get up and train, to head out the door on less than optimal sleep. And even WHY?! Some people seem in awe, others look on questioning… But I wanted to share the journey to show that yeah – it is tough, and it does require a lot of juggling, but if you want it to work, you CAN make it work.
My first ride back:
My first ride back on the road post #2 (Edie) was certainly a mission to say the least. Long gone are the days of simply setting the alarm and waking when it goes off, it now requires military precision. As they say ‘where there’s a will there’s a way!‘ Soooo. To get myself out the door for my first road ride 2 months post-partum, this is what it took:
10pm last night feed + express extra milk for the morning 🥛 10:40pm in bed asleep 3.30am bubs wakes for a feed 4.15am back into bed 5.30am alarm goes off, get myself dressed/ready 5.45am express extra milk for hubby 6.15am wake up bubs for a quick feed 6.30am bike in the car and drive to meet others 6.55am finally on the bike! 😁🙌🏻 (and it rained on us mind you, but I did not care one bit!)
So despite having broken sleep, despite having to get up in the middle of the night to feed, despite the logistics of having to express – all this just to get out on the road, I still view this as totally worth it! And worth it is was! Especially after being ‘confined’ to an indoor trainer for the past ~6months leading into her birth and recovering post.
SO – if you feel it’s worth it, then know that it IS possible. It may not be easy, and you may spend more time prepping than actually training, but if you have a goal, if it’s something you really want to do – for you! then do it – only you can put a value on what it means to you. What kept me going in the early days was reminding myself that it won’t always be like this, it won’t always be so time consuming. And it’s not. It does get easier.
As bubs grows and settle into their routines, you will claw back some of your time (and sleep!) and heading out the door wont feel like as much as a mission as it is in the beginning – you get better at the juggling act!
What my work / life / family dynamic looks like
What ones family dynamics looks like plays a BIG part in how you will manage your work, training (and sanity!) 😉 And keep in mind that everyone’s child/children are different. And each individual child of yours may also be different too. I can already see differences in my little ones already. They both have similar relaxed natures, my eldest inquisitive, yet slightly cautious, adventurous, but mostly knows his boundaries, he doesn’t like things out of place, has little patience, but at the same time is a determined little soul with the biggest sweetest and kindest heart and LOVES being outdoors. My youngest is already showing signs of being chilled and observant, patient and relaxed, and luckily for me (us) they were (are) both very good sleepers from the onset. Once they grew past the ‘newborn’ stage ~around 4mths, they learnt to (mostly) sleep through the night. So apart from developmental stages/ages where everything (literally!) goes out the window, I honestly couldn’t ask for better little people to fill our spaces. 🙂
BUT – if this is not you, know I hear you and I feel you. I know what sleep deprivation looks and feels like – we all go through it in the early stages, BUT turning that into months (and for some years!) is tough for anyone to manage and work around, so know your means and know your boundaries based on your own circumstances. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself if you / your bubs and your family are just not quite there yet.
Everyone’s personal situations will also be different. In our household, hubby works full time, I work part time from home and at the same time we are also both athletes training for our own individual sports and our own individual goals. I have my youngest Edie at home with me full time while working around her, and our little man Mills spends 2 days in day care and a day with his Pa. This gives me just enough relief to knuckle down with work while Edie is content or asleep.
But it is the training front that is actually the biggest juggle. Someone commented to me one day – ‘oh it must be easy being able to work from home and train when you want‘. Ummmm, no! (just a tip, never say to a working mum it must be easy, no matter the context – you will loose every time!) 😉
Early in the piece when bubs are newborns they sleep. alot. But they also feed. alot. Each of you are finding your feet and what routine works for you and your fam. When they sleep, you want to rest, or do the washing, or prep dinner….. It’s not like you have instant or infinite time to smack out a training session. Far from it. How many times I have thought – awesome, I’ve got an hour window to jump on the trainer while she’s asleep – and 15min into the session she wakes! But instead of getting frustrated, you just work around it. Sometimes your little ones need you more than other times. Just like work sometimes needs or asks more of you and you have to shift in that direction. I see motherhood as the same. It is and will be forever evolving, and will additionally change if you have outside help, if you are breast feeding, if you are working… there are so many variables.
So I just wanted to share that insight so you got a bit of a gauge of what our family dynamics looked like first – as mothers we are the first to compare ourselves to others. I didn’t write this for others to compare to, or to feel they have to strive for, but simply to document and share while hopefully allowing other (tri) athlete mums know that it is possible to raise a young family, to be a working mum while also training for triathlons (or what ever sport / activity / fitness you choose!) That yes – it is possible to put yourself first during times of the day / week and that you don’t have to feel guilty about that at all.
My working / training week
It’s certainly not perfect, and some days I can train more than others, and others I don’t get in what I had planned, but as a whole, we seem to have a pretty good balance and understanding of each others needs and what it takes to get everything done, while maintaining a happy family life. 🙂
A few people have asked whether I’m following a program. Apart from squad swimming where I have been joining Jamie Edwards and his crew from JET Coaching, no. I’m not following a program, and I train mainly solo. I have an idea in my head of what I want to achieve in a particular session / certain week, but I am flexible with it. This could mean that I may have a hill rep run planned but if my body is asking for a longer slower endurance run, then I’ll give it that. But I follow my own general coaching principles, methods and planning in my training. I’ve also been using myself as a bit of a guinea pig. I’ll test out a particular swim, bike and/or run set to see what it feels like, and use it with some of my athletes that I feel it can work for. So if you follow me on strava…. 😉
6 months post partum now, and for the last couple of months, this is what my ‘regular’ week can look like:
Monday’s and Wednesday mornings are my swim mornings – so swimming twice a week. These are probably the biggest challenges to get to at the moment. It means an early wake up to feed little miss, before I then get changed and head out the door to swim squad. Get on pool deck and do some mobility and activation work, before jumping in and then getting out to rush home to swap with hubby so he can get ready to head to work. Should I be including an extra swim in- sure, I should/could/would, but right now, I find the balance of 2 swims enough, especially when sometimes two swims turns into only 1 swim for what ever reason. So two swims it is, and I’m just being realistic about my race goals around the swim based on how my swim progresses around this. But at the moment, after a few months back in the pool I’m just starting to feel swim fit again. Whoop!
Monday’s I will also try to include a strength and conditioning set at home during the day – mainly focused around functional movement, core stability etc, not heavy lifting, along with a walk to get the kids outside. And Wednesdays I attend a clinical pilates session after swimming. This has been fantastic returning post birth, but also a great way to learn how your body moves, it’s imbalances and working on correcting these. I highly recommend if you can fit into your training / week ! (Note this is FAR different to your standard group pilates classes)
Tuesdays have generally been brick days for me, a good way to get bang for your buck. Generally this will be in the afternoon when little miss is (hopefully) sleeping and I’ll time it for when hubby gets home to run off the bike OR I’ll run with her and the pram. 🙂 So a high intensity or strength based bike session, into an easy run off the bike. I might also include another short easy run first thing in the morning when hubby gets home from his ride and before he has to then head to work – if time / our schedules allow.
Thursdays for me have now moved into a double run day to up my run volume, but will shift back to a brick session day or separate bike and run sessions as the triathlon season comes closer. For me, I don’t run well in the mornings, I wake up stiff through my back so I find doing any quality of running in the morning tough. (Plus the winter mojo to run in the AM is severely lacking!) 😉 So instead, for these days I do an easy run loosener in the morning after hubby gets back from his morning ride, just running to feel, and then in the evening throwing in some quality such as hill strength/repeats or fartlek type session. (note this is generally my ONLY evening session) I’m not doing any speed / high intensity work in my runs at the moment, the volume seems to be working well and paces just gradually increasing based on my fitness gains from these, so I’m happy with my run progress after a slow and sluggish first few months. Patience here was definitely key!
Fridays I reserve as a ‘free’ day, or day of choice. If I feel like doing nothing, I don’t. If I feel like an easy spin, or a long walk, or some additional strength, I’ll do that. But I find it’s been great having a totally open day to do whatever I feel or whatever the day brings. Not to mention a sleep in! 😉
Weekends are where the juggle continues, with both myself and hubby working out plans on who’s riding when and where and with whom. It’s a compromise. And sucks if there is a day on the weekend when it’s terrible riding weather as it means one of us is spending time on the trainer! Given I do trainer work during the week, by the weekend I’m hanging to get on the road, so I can’t wait for more warmer and lighter days to come! So Saturdays I have generally been doing my long ride, and Sunday afternoons my long run. Long rides around ~2.5-3.5hours with slowly building run volume off the bike, and long runs now getting up around 1:15min. And each week just gradually building on the last and pulling back when I need the recovery.
When I’m training, I ensure I’m fully present. I’m focused, determined and driven to do that little bit better than last week. As you have now gathered, being a working triathlete and a mum, with a hubby who also trains, it really is a juggling act and you have to make the most of the time allowance you have. This often can mean he comes in from a session and I’m heading out for mine. A quick update on the kids as we pass each other. Some may wonder why we would choose to do this rather than just spending all our time with our little ones while they are so young, and all I can say is that we do it because we love it. It not only makes us feel good staying healthy and having goals to chase, we don’t think having kids should stop that. PLUS we can already see the influence this has on our eldest. He jumps on his bike inside all the time, he shows how he cleans it, will want to put his helmet on, even wants to put his water bottle on his bike – just to be like mum and dad. He hops on the floor and tries to do push ups, he ‘play’s with my roller, does squats and simply just loves being active with us. Children observe and learn so much, and without even teaching him, he’s understanding that being active is simply a part of life. And that there, makes my heart sing to know and see that – so why wouldn’t we want to train and chase after our our own goals?! Knowing that those traits are being learnt by the little people around us… 🙂
Things I have learnt being a working triathlete mum:
Respect & appreciate your body, You are not just relying on your body for your sport, your baby/ child/ children/ family is also relying on you. So if ever there was a time to listen to your body, and do whats right for you and your family – then its now. Don’t ignore any signs.
Being healthy is paramount, Above all else, it is imperative to stay strong and healthy. I don’t believe any goal should override this and especially not when you are supporting a young bubs. So don’t cut corners on your health.
Consult / work with a professional, Make sure you get the all clear from a womens health professional/specialist. Even though you may want to get back running asap, sometimes it may be advised against it based on your personal recovery. So listen to the professionals. They are there for you, so if it means walking for another couple of weeks. Then do it – there is plenty of time to get back to running! 🙂
Communication is king You need to have good communication. With your partner, with your coach / support team, with family… Whoever is on your ‘team’. Communicate frequently and communicate well.
Start sloooowwwwllly, Slower than you thought was even possible. And above all else, listen to the advice from professionals.
Have patience, For me it was 3 months of what felt like slow, heavy, awkward running before I even felt like I was running and not just plodding along. It took 3 months back in the pool after 2 years out of it to actually start to ‘feel’ the water again. It’s about having the patience to stick at it even though it’s hard and having the persistence (read stubbornness) to want to improve and be better than you were yesterday.
Sleep is key – get it when you can, I feel very blessed. Both children learnt to sleep through the night quite early on. So from around 4mths they mostly slept through, this makes a MASSIVE difference. So if you have children that need you more at night time, keep in mind how this can impact your recovery and how your next sessions may feel. And if it means having a nap – or even just a lie down, during the day, then take it. You don’t have to be on the go all day every day. Give yourself permission to rest and recuperate – netflix is great for this just saying! 😉
Don’t underestimate the toll breastfeeding takes on your body. Fuel for your bubs but also fuel for your training. And if you are unsure, seek further guidance. It can be a balancing act – especially around breastfeeding.
You CAN find a way to make it happen, If you want to do something, or have a goal that means something to you, then you will find a way to make it happen. I won’t say it will be easy, because its not, but there can always be a way. You just have to be willing.
Just as with anything in life, you learn, You learn to be able to carry two squirming children at once. You learn how much is too much. You learn what your body is telling you…. And you will be forever learning – and I actually love that. 🙂 So don’t be so stuck and rigid (in your often old ways) that you loose the ability to learn.
Don’t feel you have to be super(hu)mum! There’s the saying – you can do anything, but not everything. And this is so true! If the washing has to pile up for a couple of days, then so be it. If you have to get take out one night because you didn’t have time to go to the grocery store, it’s not the end of the world! You don’t have to be on top of everything all of the time. And that’s ok!
Online shopping will be your savour! Speaking of grocery shopping, I can’t believe I never shopped online before children. What a time saver! If you don’t already, I highly recommend you start. I now shop for my ‘staples’ online, and then just walk to our local grocer / butcher / fish monger for fresh food with the kids in tow once a week. SO much easier! Plus I find saves money by planning ahead and not getting sucked into any unnecessary purchases.
Don’t be too hard on yourself. If you have to miss a session because you are too tired as bubs was up more than normal the previous night, then do it, but don’t feel guilty about it. If you need to cut a session short as it’s all you had time for, then by all means cut it and again, don’t feel guilty.
Don’t put so much pressure on yourself, Set a goal, but be flexible with it. Check in every couple of months to see how you are doing / progressing. Change things up if needed. But at the same time, know that you don’t have to be 100% fit or 100% ‘ready’ for a race to be able to do one. View your first race back as your first ever race! The excitement of simply being back out racing, no pressure and simply picture that finishing line with your little one waiting there for you, that will be your biggest achievement, not the time on the clock. 🙂
Be flexible, Some days / weeks you will feel like you are nailing it all, and others you will feel like you are just keeping your head above water. During these times you need to be flexible. Drop or switch out a session if you need to catch back up on sleep or simply to reset at home. We have a lot more variables in our lives now, that you need to be flexible, otherwise you will get to a point and you will feel like you are failing and not doing anything well.
Don’t compare yourself to ‘pre-baby/ies’ It can be easy to look back and think ‘I used to be able to do this’ or ‘I used to look like this’… but it serves no purpose. All you want to do is compare yourself today from yesterday. Not 3 years ago. Your life is vastly different now. There’s a new line in the sand. You have permission to set a new bench mark. Of course have goals, but know they don’t have to be compared to ‘before’ children.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help As women – this can often be the hardest thing to do. And I find myself guilty of it too. We feel like we ‘should’ be able to do it all. And if we can’t we are failing (there’s that word again!) So reach out. You will be surprised how many people are willing to help if you just ask. And if someone asks – say yes!
I never said it would be easy…. It WILL be tough at times. There will be times you will feel like crying. There will be times you feel your partner doesn’t understand. There will be times when you feel in over your head. And that’s ok. Humans are emotional beings and feelings are what makes us human. So feel the emotions, acknowledge them, and then work with those around you to keep moving forward.
It’s a juggle – and at times often a struggle, I can’t deny that. Made even more challenging when your hubby is an athlete too, which means competing for training times and juggling these around children, work, daycare drop off and pick ups, feeding times, sleeping times and not to forget adult time!
But when my eldest yells with glee ‘mummy’s riding her bike!’, and waves with a big smile on his face as I head out the door, it truly melts my heart. It reminds me I’m not just doing this for me. But I’m doing this for them. Showing our two little ones that exercise is fun, and in our household, it is a part of who we are and what we do and with that, I can sleep well at night knowing that the example we are setting for the two most important humans in our lives is one we can be proud of. 🙂
Sarah xx
~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ Sarah is the Director & Head Coach at Complete Per4mance Coaching. Sarah qualified for the Ironman World Champs in her first Ironman attempt at Ironman Melbourne 2013 (also achieving a podium place in the same race), going on to compete in Kona that same year. Sarah shares her 10 years of coaching and racing experience, knowledge and education with athletes of all levels to help them achieve their optimal performance while maintaining a balanced, happy and healthy life.
“Don’t you just want to spend that time with your little one?”
I actually wondered this myself before becoming a mum. I wondered whether I’d be able to ‘do it all’. To be able to find time to look after a little one, to work, to take care of myself, our household and on top of that, to train. I questioned whether I actually should, when the ‘right’ time to come back to training was and how much training was going to be enough.
It can be tough. At times I can be torn between my choices.
To head out on the bike, or spend that extra time with my family.
To get the sleep while I can, or squeeze a training session in.
To relax and enjoy, or to get out and work out.
There’s been times that I’ve let my little one cry longer than I’d like because I wanted to finish an interval on the trainer.
I’ve woken him up in the early hours of the morning to feed him, hoping (praying) he’d then go back to sleep so I could sneak out quietly and get a session in before he wakes for the day.
I’ve gently lifted his sleeping body out of his warm cosy bed and dragged him down to races so I could watch and support athletes.
I’ve left him with family, not because I wanted a break, but because I wanted to train.
I’ve kept him up past his bed time so I can finish a session, despite knowing he’ll be over tired and grumpy because of it.
I’ve allowed him to nap later than I ‘should’ simply so I could get some extra work done.
Does any of this mean I am doing less, or more, than what I ‘should’ be? Am I doing enough? Being enough? Giving enough?
Everyone’s journey in life is different, especially as mothers. We are all trying to find our own way, in our own way. Learning as we go, discovering, understanding. Trying to figure out what works for our own families and ourselves. What we can fit into our days and our weeks. Spreading our time and our love between those around us – but not forgetting about ourselves.
As mums, all we want is to do what’s ‘right’ for our children. But honestly, there is no right way. We’re all just doing the best that we can, with the time and the support that we have. What works for one person, or one family, doesn’t mean it’s right for the next. Just like training itself. What works for one, doesn’t mean it will work for everyone. Sometimes it’s trial and error. Sometimes it’s strict routine, other times its go with the flow. Sometimes it’s more, sometimes it’s less. It doesn’t make one right or wrong. They are just different.
But what I do know is our little man is growing up in a happy, healthy family. We are 100% there for him and would do anything for him, yet at the same time, our health and our happiness and our goals are also a priority to US. As he grows older he will become to understand what exercise and training is, that it makes us happy and keeps us healthy. He’ll be curious, and I have no doubt he will want to join in. So we’ll find a way to include him and encourage him. Looking after ourselves, training, exercising, eating healthy is what he’ll come to know. And that brings me both joy and excitement. For as much as I might ‘leave’ him to go out and train, I believe he will learn so much more because of it.
As mothers, we are hard enough on ourselves. So before you question whether we should be doing as much as we are, think about the long term benefits for not only us as mothers, but also our little ones in tow.
So don’t judge us for the choices we make, as you may not understand our family.
Don’t question if we should be training less, or training more, or not at all. For you may not understand our reasons.
Don’t doubt us for doing things different to you, or to others, as we are not you and we are not them.
Don’t criticise us for our decisions, as you may not understand the struggles, the challenges or the triumphs it takes for us to get to them.
Instead, celebrate us. Encourage us. Support us. Share the journey with us. Because you may just well be inspired by us.
We give so much of ourselves in all aspects of our lives. For 9 months we selflessly share our bodies with another tiny human being.
We go through body changes (and continue to do so), that only a mother can understand.
We nourish, nurture and soothe when no one else can. We get up early and wake in the middle of the night when all we want is sleep. We teach, we educate, we laugh, we cry. We scream in frustration, we lie down with exhaustion. We’re on call 24/7 yet don’t ask for anything in return.
So with everything that we give, everything that we do, to take an hour or two out of the day to ourselves – to train, to rest, to do whatever we choose, is not something that should be questioned. Because if we are our healthiest and happiest, our little families will be too. And if that means training, then training it is. 🙂
Being a mum, while having the ability to work, train and remain healthy is a choice. And I love that so many mums are making that choice too. For their own health, their own happiness, their own reasons. So I celebrate each and every mum out there making time for themselves.
So if you are a mum, a soon to be mum, hoping to be a mum, or a mum who has lost their sweet angel – always remember that you are enough. Your time away from your partner, husband, loved one, and little one/s isn’t lost time. It’s your time. For your own growth. For your own health, your own happiness and for your own reasons. There isn’t a right amount of time, the right time, or wrong time. It’s your time and you can use it how you choose. For you. And for your family.
Happy, Healthy Mothers Day to every special mum out there doing their thing. Xox
An honest and open account on the changes motherhood has brought to my personal life, my working life, my training and me as a person.
People told me before having my little one that it would ‘change my life forever‘ and my ‘life wouldn’t be the same again‘. It was those same people that had children themselves, of which were given the same words of wisdom by others before them.
Of course I knew that life wasn’t going to be the same. Because life wasn’t just going to be about me anymore. But at the same time, I didn’t know exactly what it would look like, or how it would feel. I knew that it would change our dynamics at home, my working structure, and it would alter how and when I could train but above all else, what I wasn’t expecting was how it has changed me as a person.
Our little man Mills is now 6 months old, and such a little dude already. “Little M” as I affectionately call him. He has a lot of nicknames already, but this is my fav simply because he is so teeny, smashing the charts in the mere 10th percentile! So yes, he is blessed to have inherited both our short @rse genes which almost guarantees he’ll be that small fella in the front row of school photos. He’ll be the little whippet on the football oval running all day long, and I have no doubt riding bikes before his feet can even touch the pedals! But what he lacks in size I know will be made up in every other way.
He’s already started to show his own little personality. He doesn’t like sitting still for long (I can thank myself for that one!), yet has the most relaxed chilled out nature – which has made my ‘job‘ as a mum very easy. Don’t get me wrong, he’s still a baby and will cry when he wants something or is uncomfortable, has his nights when he wants to party, and doesn’t go to bed before 9pm. But in the most part, he’s smiley, happy, and loves cuddles from everyone and anyone. He hangs to get outside each day and is fascinated by trees. It’s amazing how such a tiny little human can already be moulding into his own little person.
ANYWAY – back on track! But at least you can now get a picture of our special little dude. 🙂
Before Little M arrived into our lives, we had a pretty relaxed, organised, yet carefree life. We both trained when we wanted (my partner is a cyclist), we could head away for the weekend without much planning, we could ride our bikes all day long if we chose. We could stay up late, and wake up whenever our bodies woke. There was no timeline apart from the one we set ourselves. Fast forward to today and we’re learning to live with and work around the needs of a small human that is 100% dependent on you, so all of that has changed – but certainly not for the worst! 🙂
How have things changed?
My Working Life
I decided early on in my pregnancy that I didn’t want to have much time off work. I love my job and what I can offer people and I love the satisfaction it provides me. I didn’t want to be away from that for very long. As much as others tried to advise me to take more time off, it only took a couple of months for me and I was already jumping out of my skin to get back into the coaching scene.
So I’ve been back coaching since December, gradually taking athletes back on board each month based on how I feel I can manage my time and still provide the support my athletes expect and deserve. But it does look totally different than before bubs. Pre Mills I would plan out my week day by day (heck, nearly hour by hour), I would set times that I would complete certain tasks and know when I was doing what. I could meet up with athletes on a whim, and run training sessions without too much thought.
But today, that simply isn’t possible. I still write lists on what I want/need to achieve for the week, but the hourly planning has gone out the window. And it is more of a challenge to meet for training sessions. I have to be far more flexible, yet also very organised. As much as Little M is in a routine, that routine isn’t set in stone. He doesn’t know what time it is, when I ‘m on a time line or that I have to finish writing a program for an athlete. And to make it even more challenging, he hasn’t taken to enjoying milk from a bottle, so I’m literally his lifeline, his milkbar on call whenever he says so! (guys really do get it easier in all aspects don’t they!) 😉
There have been days when he’s been unsettled and I haven’t been able to get any work done, but then others when I’ve been able to knock out a solid 7 hours. There will be times that I get up and work early in the morning when he’s still sleeping or at night when my partner is home. So as much as I feel like my days aren’t as effective as they once were, I’m definitely far more efficient with the time that I do spend working.
I’m loving the challenge of balancing work, life and bubs and on the most part – I feel I have a great balance. And I feel like it is working well for me and most importantly for my athletes.
And on my athletes – I totally appreciate the support I have from each of them. There have been times that I’ve had to reschedule a phone chat, or an email has taken a day longer to respond to. So I appreciate their understanding that that is the life of a working mum, but it certainly doesn’t mean that their training, racing and performance is any less important to me than before. Quite opposite actually. I could so easily just not work. To take 12months off like many working mums do, to enjoy the precious moments with my attention spent on him wholly. But that’s not me. I am grateful that I can combine the love of my son, with the love of my work together. And I’ve loved taking Little M down to the local races to watch my athletes our on course. It’s such a special feeling and something that I intend to continue to share.
My Training Life
I love training. I love it just as much as I do racing. I honestly feel like I was born to push and test my body, because it’s when I feel at my best. 6 months postpartum and I’ve managed to race a handful of races already including some crit racing and a local triathlon. I was (and still are) far from being my fittest or strongest – but who said you have to be ready to race? (read my last blog on that here.) I’m lucky/blessed – however you like to term it, that from around 3months old, out little man has slept through the night. Giving me a solid 7-9hours of sleep a night. (I have chosen to forget about the horrible 2 weeks when he was 4months old and he reverted back to waking every 2 hours!) So lack of sleep is not the issue for me in being able to train.
The two (maybe three) driving factors for me that is keeping my training volume low is my shift in priorities (right now it’s about him not me), his lack of interest in taking a bottle means i’m on call whenever he says so! And co-ordinating training with my fiance. (think that is the first time I’ve actually written fiance!) 🙂 And I am totally AOK with all of them. Right now, I am more than happy to be the role of mother, providing love and support at home so the two most important men in my life can be their happiest, healthiest selves. Saying that out loud makes my heart explode with so much love and that truly is what makes me happy right now. If I wanted to train hard, I most certainly could, and I would find a way to do it. But I don’t want to, and I don’t feel the pressure or need to either.
Don’t get me wrong though, I still make time for myself and exercise every day – as I believe that is important for every person, not just new mums. But that’s exactly what it is for me – exercise. Doing what makes me feel good, both physically and mentally. Sometimes that’s simply getting outside for a long walk and doing some strength training, other times it’s runs and rides, or a combination of both. But no matter what it is, I just do what my body feels like it needs, and it is paying me back by providing a healthy milk supply for my little man and a strong body to enable me to race whenever I choose to, even without training specifically.
And Me… Earlier this month I heard and read about the heart wrenching story of a well known female figure in our sport who lost her baby girl at birth. They say that when you have children you are affected so much more by tragic stories such as this. And my god this is true. When I heard the news I was absolutely devastated for her, and the many mothers before her and after her that have and will have to endure that sort of heartache. A couple of weeks later she started to blog about her experience – not necessarily to share with others, but to help her on her journey to recovery. They are raw, devastatingly honest and emotionally heart-wrenching. Reading her blogs stabbed me in the heart and hit me so hard that I truly did not expect and it took me off guard. After reading the blogs I didn’t want to leave my little boy alone. I didn’t want him out of my sight, I just wanted to cuddle him all day long, not letting him out of my sight for a moment. I thought that if he was with me, nothing could happen to him, that I’d be able to control what we did and when and he would be safe. I planted so many kisses all over his body that I’m sure if he could talk, he would say ‘mum – stop kissing me!‘.
It took a couple of days for this feeling to lift as I realised that I couldn’t be his saviour, I simply had to be his mum. To love him and protect him and help him learn and navigate this world in his own way – and eventually on his own. And it was then that I realised how much being a mum had changed me.
I was someone who always needed to control things in my life. I didn’t like surprises, I liked planning and organising, I’d take my time in making decisions. I didn’t do things spur of the moment. But looking back, since becoming a mum, I realise that motherhood has actually changed that part of me. I’m more relaxed and carefree and happy to go with the flow. Things that spring up or surprise me don’t bother me, I simply deal with it and move on. Because who has the time to worry about what could have been, should have been, or might have been? I certainly don’t anymore.
And I have far more patience. My dad even commented on this, saying how proud it made him to me see me as a mum. He also said it changed me – but in a good way. He said that he can see it has relaxed me, slowed me down and I now don’t get frustrated when I feel like others ‘couldn’t keep up’ with me. (not literally, but figuratively) And without even realising it, it had. And I love it.
People say that motherhood is stressful, but my experience so far has been the opposite. It has calmed me. It has allowed me to simply accept what the day brings. I love the mess my little man makes when learning to eat food, even if I had just changed him into clean clothes. Instead of getting frustrated when he cries or won’t stop grizzling, I try and understand what it is he is trying to tell me. I don’t stress about what time he wakes up in the morning, sometimes it’s 6am, other times 8.00am. Because either is fine. I don’t worry if he sleeps for 3 hours in the afternoon, even if the guidelines say he shouldn’t be… And I let him tell me when he’s hungry, I don’t go by a clock. I wonder at times if I may be a little too relaxed (is that possible?!) but I certainly don’t feel guilty by that at all. Because this is my experience as a working mum and it’s working for me and my family, and that’s all that matters.
Here’s to the next few months of changes, challenges and learnings and plenty more awesome improvements, performances and breakthroughs from my athletes! 🙂
Coach Sarah
Complete Per4mance Coaching was born out of the desire and passion to not just coach but to educate athletes of all levels to help them achieve their optimal performance while maintaining a balanced, happy and healthy life.
Every athlete is individual, therefore I provide programs written and designed specifically based on each athletes goals, time commitment, training level and ‘life’ in general. Delivered through training peaks, each athlete receives a truly personal coaching service dedicated to improving YOUR results, while providing a pricing structure that helps allow every athlete receive the coaching that they deserve.
Contact me for a FREE initial coaching consultation to discuss your training and coaching options.