You trained for months; you dedicated your âlifeâ to this race. You sacrificed birthday parties, nights out and sleep ins. Weeks went by and all you can remember doing is training, eating and sleeping â and trying to hold down your job/family in between! You trained SO hard for this race. You had done everything possible for this to be the most amazing race ever. And you did it! You are an Ironman!! Your friends and family applause you and praise you on your efforts. They think you are super human for achieving such a feat â something they would never think possible for themselves.
But they have now moved on, and you are now a little lost and you have had some time to reflect. Underneath the thrill of finishing, thereâs a slight niggle of disappointment. You didnât achieve the race time you had trained so hard for. Yes you are proud that you got to the start line â a feat that so many never even get the chance to do. But thereâs a part of you that feels that lingering disappointment. All your commitment, your effort, your sacrifices and still you didnât achieve your race time and your race goal. And you just canât get past it.
Most triathleteâs work in numbers, itâs just what we do. We log distances, paces, times, heart rate and effort. We compare PBâs, we analyse results and we are critical. We put so much pressure on ourselves to achieve, that even when we do, this is often still not enough. âI could have trained a little more, I could have pushed a little harder, I could have eaten a little betterâ. Triathletes are perfectionist and we prepare so hard for our race. We pursue our goals so vigorously and hold onto them so tightly that when we donât achieve them we feel a sense of disappointment. That all our hard work was for nothing, as we didnât get that goal, or target, or position. And if we arenât careful, that feeling of disappointment can linger.
Scenario: An athlete has a goal of sub 10hours, their previous best is 10:45. On race day they achieved 10:00:07. But it isnât enough. Those 7 seconds eats away at them. âWhat if I hadnât stopped to tie my shoe lace, what if I didnât slow down to high five my partner, what ifâŚ.â
WHAT IFÂ they actually appreciated what they had just accomplished? What if they looked for the positives first instead of the negatives? What if things could have actually gone the other way? What if what they achieved was the best they could do on that day? What if we didnât have to search for excuses? What if???
But all this athlete can think about is those 7 seconds. 7 seconds that they feel robbed them of their dream. 7 seconds that if they had their time again they would do differently. They allowed those 7 seconds to take away from their achievement â which if they look from a positive stand point â is a 45min Personal Best (PB)!
Weâve all been there. Being over critical, over thinking, over analysing and simply being hard on ourselves. Donât get me wrong, I get disappointed too when a race doesnât go to plan, and I feel for athletes when this happens to them. But the difference is, I not only have a race plan, but I have a post-race plan. A plan that can help me evaluate my race and my athletes races â whether good or bad, so we can learn from each race and become stronger and more resilient athletes as a result. And more importantly, allows me to see the positives in every race, despite the race outcome.
6 Tips for BEATING post-race disappointment
1. Donât be so hard on yourself.
What does it mean if you didnât reach your goal? How does it make you feel? Do you consider yourself a failure for not achieving your goal? Do you feel like you have let others down?
Most athletes would be judgmental and hard on themselves because of their unrelenting standards. They feel like they let their Coach down, their friends down, themselves down. They set their standards so high that they feel like a failure if they arenât achieved.
You need goals, as they drive you, but think about WHY you have the goal, not just the goal itself. If you know your WHY, you wonât be so judgmental if you do not reach the goal. You wonât be so disappointed if your time wasnât want you had planned, and you wonât feel guilty for letting others down. You will simply find another way to continue to work to achieve it.
So pursue your goals vigorously, but hold onto them lightly â meaning chase your goals, but hold onto them lightly enough that if you donât reach them this time, they wonât drag you down.
2. Find the positives in the negatives
Ok, so your race didnât go to plan. You didnât have the race you wanted and you didnât achieve the time you had dreamed of. But amongst all the negatives, search for the positives. What worked well? What would you replicate again? What made you feel good? What are you proud of? Write them down, as you will want to use these again! And itâs a great way to remind yourself that even if your overall race didnât go to plan, there were parts of your race that did.
3. Learn from each race.
âYou cannot learn how to cook if someone always cooks for youâŚâ Same principle applies to athletes. So use each race as a learning experience. Whether you achieved your goal or not, as long as you are learning from each experience, you are on the track to success â a term I like to call âfailing to succeedâ. So donât be afraid to fail, but also donât accept it. And accepting means learning. Did you go out too hard? Did you stick to your nutrition/hydration plan? Learn from each race and you will become a better athlete for it.
4. Donât dwell on the what ifâs or could haveâs.
Simply put. Donât dwell on the past. If you are dwelling on the past, your concentration is heading in the wrong direction. Yes itâs easy to focus on what could have been, and using statements such as âI lost the race hereâ. But reality is, you didnât have it in the first place, so you didnât lose anything. So donât dwell on it, it serves no purpose at all apart from detracting you from forward progression. Use that energy and focus to move forward.
5. Look back to how far you have come.
The longer we are in the sport, the harder it can become to remember where we started and why. What drove us to this sport in the first place? What continues to drive us today? So take the time to reflect on why it is you âdoâ triathlon? What drives you? What motivates you? What inspires you? You will often find itâs not the race result that drives you, itâs something much deeper, and when you can determine your WHY you may just realise that you arenât so disappointed after all.
6. Re-evaluate and Refocus
Use your time post-race to re-evaluate and refocus. If your race didnât go to plan, thatâs ok. Simply re-evaluate and refocus to determine your plan for your next goal/race. Whether itâs to achieve a PB, podium, qualify for the world championship, or simply to love racing and enjoy the sport. Post-race is the perfect time to re-evaluate, check in and understand your goals and motivations. And remember, people change and goals change. The goals you once had may not be the goals you have for your next race, or your next season. So donât feel like you have to keep the same goal.
And finally, is it possible to avoid disappointment in the first place? Or would that mean setting your goals so low that you always achieve them? And therefore not really reaching your full potential?
I ask athletes to ensure they are setting realistic goals and expectations of themselves. Yes goals should scare you a little, but they have to be realistic and within achievable time frames. So often Coaches see athletes come into the sport and want to achieve huge goals in just 12-18months. They compare themselves to others who have been in the sport for years, without knowing their history, their journey, their goals or their motivations. So compare yourself to yourself, and not others. Set goals that are for you, not about anyone else. You donât have to aim to be the best in your age group, or qualify for Kona, or PB every single race. Setting realistic goals means finding goals that drive you, motivate you, but most importantly excite you! Then be prepared to put in the hard work that is required to achieve those goals. And be ready with the points above if, for whatever reason, you donât achieve them first time round.
6 Tips for AVOIDING post-race disappointment
1. Set realistic goals (SMART goals)
2. Donât compare yourself to others
3. Donât compare race times to other courses/events
4. Re-evaluate your goals/times based on conditions
5. Focus on the process, not the result
6. ENJOY what you do!
Racing itself is amazing. The feelings and emotions running down the finishing shoot and crossing the line cannot be replaced or replicated in any way. It is truly an amazing experience. So donât let your disappointment over shadow that experience. Your triathlon journey is not simply about crossing the finishing line, earning that medal or achieving a PB. Each race should allow you to become a stronger athlete and person, more resilient and resourceful. You will appreciate and respect some of the simple things in life because you had to sacrifice some of these to reach your goal.
So next time you feel disappointment after a race, take the time to find the positives in the negatives, learn from the race, donât dwell on whatâs ifâs, look back at how far you have come and re-evaluate and refocus.
Written by Coach Sarah, as previously published in the  Australian Triathlete MagazineÂ